Kamis, 09 Oktober 2008

Living together can’t be the solution to avoid divorce in one’s marriage life because, as we’ve known, a marriage isn’t only about sexual-intercourse like living together; it’s more sophisticated than living together.
There some arguments about Living Together according to my friends. There is a positive and negative argument about it. Below there are some arguments about living together.
There are some advantages in doing living together such as that we can find the right partner with whom we can share everything. But it isn’t the right solution for finding the right partner. Without doing it we can still prevent our marriage because marriage is trying to learn about how to live together the differences based on love. Even living together can make our marriage fragile because we tend to seek for partner over and over again. (Harjendro).
I think living together is not proper t us (in eastern countries) because we are religious person. We know about the punishment given by government, religion and people or society. But if there are some people doing it, it depends on their attitude and behavior themselves. About the right ay to solve the problem, I think we must admire them and pay more attention to them. ( Kristian Yulianto).
In my opinion living together is okay or someone who thinks pragmatically but not for someone who thinks it idealistically that living together is something bad. The problem is how we translate or interpret in our implicational thinking. But someone still do it, right? In addition as a research proved that it is exceptionally good way to grow of ( Handoko)
There is no advantage of living together because it’s not the right thing. It’s unacceptable by our culture, and doing living together means against the law, especially the Religion Law. However, there are lots of Indonesian people doing this. They thought that against the law is pride. It was caused by the weak fait. Based on this, we should refuse the idea of living together. It can be done by making our religion stronger and defend ourselves from the unacceptable culture such as living together. Although it’s very difficult to find the right partner in passing one’s marriage life, living together isn’t the only solution to find it. Living together is usually based on the sexual satisfaction. The legal relation like doesn’t tie it on marriage. The couple who live together could break their relation anytime they want to. If it happened, the female will become the most lost one. She lost her honor and virginity. Virginity has important meaning for her. Even whether the girl has been pregnant and their relation were broken. She can’t demand the man to take the responsibility. In our culture a marriage is pure relation between women and man that made by legal agreement, so it’s different from living together. The aim of marriage is to unite the differences between the couple. Based on that, the problem isn’t how to find the right partner in passing marriage life, but how to adapt the couple’s differences in their marriage. In marriage life, every couple should try understand each other. To get experience whether our future partner of our marriage life is appropriate at every face of our life style. It could be got by make a good relation before marriage. The relation is made to find the suitable things between the couple and to know our candidate partner’s personality. This method will be the better solution to find out our partner rather than living together. Going steady isn’t enough for us to experience whether one will be an appropriate future husband or wife. There many conditions should be had such as the faith and responsibility. Both of them are more important than going steady. The faith will make a marriage running safely and always in the God’s way and the responsibility of the member of family will make a marriage couple doing their own-assignments sincerely and consciously. Living together can’t be the solution to avoid divorce in one marriage life, because as we’ve known, a marriage isn’t only about sexual-intercourse like living together, it’s more sophisticated than living together. A marriage is based on the will of making a family. There must be some differences between the husband and wife. In a family, they must accept each other sincerely, and may not become the caution of divorce in one’s marriage. To avoid getting divorce in one’s marriage life could be done by solving the problems together as fast as possible, and realize that marriage should be preserved as long as possible. Although our country is religious one, living together secretly have been done by few of Indonesian people. It’s caused by the influence of the Western Culture. The globalization process has brought another country’s culture easier to our country. It could be known by the many x-rated film were published now. Even, in our television channels, the Western film is still dominating. So, their culture has been accepted unconsciously. For example the kissing and embrace culture. They’re taboo to be done in our country in the past, but now it becomes part of our life. There were some punishments given for the couple who live together. They could be forced to get married, or be thrown out of their village in Islam’s Law. They have to be stoned until they die. If there’s a couple who live together in the village. They will be forced to get married soon; instead of they won’t be punished like in the past. But if living together happened in the big town, they won’t get punishment to. It has become a tradition in big towns, especially for the rich people. Living together has been accepted on our culture without our awareness. It is caused by the Faith-Relation of Indonesian people; everything is seen on the money and pleasure. If it happens, I’ll try as far as possible to remind him/her. I’ll try to make religious approach about what he had done. The approach must be in the most acceptable way and given softly. But if it still does it, and refuses my suggestion to leave it, it doesn’t matter, its own privacy. I’ve no reason to force him. Our responsibility is only to remind him, not more. All depend on him, accept or not about my suggestion. (Dian Fathur).
Living together can be very annoying because it disturb the social stability in which occurs. I myself never do it and don’t want to do it because it doesn’t suit with my personality which is good enough. For now, I don’t want to have something to do with love and just want to think about my study. (Astrie).
I think living together is a pretty bad attitude to be done in our country because the people are religious and it isn’t good for them to do it. But, we can’t deny that living in the twentieth century like this allow people to make living together more common especially in big cities. (Heru).
O.K. living together has positive and negative sides. How about you? Whatever!!!
The positive ones are: we’ll be able to know about our partner’s behavior, character, life style, etc. we become aware about her/his personalities so that we can protect our marriage from divorce. The negative ones are: we can not help ourselves from doing the forbidden things and sometimes we do something that is not supposed to be done.
The conclusion is that living together is not suitable with our culture and religion that already warned us about the sin of living together. But of course, getting married before knowing each other is difficult and we will end up to the unwanted divorce. Still, it doesn’t make living together a good solution because we can select a partner by making a good relationship fast while we look far some information about our partner. And about preventing our marriage, we can learn it from people who have got married or we can get the knowledge from an expert on some books. By all account, living together doesn’t belong to our culture; instead it belongs to western culture. It’s not suitable in Indonesia and our religions forbid it.

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